I wanted to just copy the whole article from the Warrior Prayers Leaders’ Guide today. That’s how good it was. It was reminiscent of John Eldredge’s ‘Wild At Heart’, only for little boys. It’s written by author Sally Clarkson, and you can read the whole article, ‘That Boy Needs A Strong Hand’ at The M.O.B. Society. Here are some highlights.
Seems silly to say, but boys are not girls. They are as mysterious as men, because they are men. But moms are girls, and sometimes that can be a problem. Most boys (not all, but most) will be more active, louder, noisier, less attentive or sensitive, slower to pick up cues, sometimes clueless and just more “boysterous” than most girls. God designed them that way on purpose. Everything about them—physiology, biology, brain function, and testosterone—prepares them for a different role and function in life than girls. But by God’s design, they need to be affirmed in their design by their girl mothers. God has given you a “strong hand” in their lives by way of being their mother.
From personal experience and many years of observation, moms often discipline boys for being boys, instead of understanding that God wants them to grow into strong men.
If we want them to be warriors when they are big, they need to be able to practice being little warriors when they are young. Even as our own husbands want to feel that we are happy and content with what they have provided, so our boys need to know that we are happy to be their moms, and that we are delighted that they are young men in training to accomplish great feats some day.
According to Clarkson, boys need:
A strong loving hand (acceptance and grace) – words of love, admiration, encouragement and validation of their “boyish” feats –
A strong gentle hand (kindness and gentleness) – “A gentle answer turns away wrath,” from Proverbs became the pattern for my speech to my boys.
A strong patient hand (understanding and longsuffering) – Learning not to react to the noise of my boys… learning see into their hearts and motivations from a boy’s point of view… becoming a cheerleader for them… Anticipating needs and proactively preparing for particular situations.
A strong protective hand (teaching and telling) and (encouraging and affirming) – Constant teaching and instructing (to give) them a positive self-image of what they would grow into.
As I looked to God’s design for men and saw the potential of my boys becoming strong, righteous men, I had the heart to become the mother that they needed me to be. One who had great respect for the holiness of manhood, even in the lives of the sweet boys that lived every day in my own home. And I girded my hands with God’s strength to support and train them one day at a time.
And a final word from Brooke:
Remember, kindness is not something that comes naturally. We’re selfish, sinful beings who mostly want our own way. No, kindness is a learned art, usually caught by experiencing it first-hand from the hands of the people closest to us.
So, the question I ask myself, in the midst of the daily battles with my kids: Am I being kind to them? Am I teaching them the art of true kindness? The kind that builds up and encourages, that seeks the best for them? Or as I lead them with a Strong Hand, is it just to keep them quiet and compliant to my selfish agenda and societies expectations? (You have to read Clarkson’s article to know what I’m alluding to here). Oh that I would learn the truth that “A gentle answer turns away wrath” (Proverbs 15:1).
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