It’s been almost 2 years since I had a full nights sleep 2 nights in a row. You see, Samantha started keeping me awake at night very early in pregnancy, and has continued to do so since. In January, Sean’s parents took her into their room for a night while we were on family vacation, but other than that, I haven’t had more than 3-4 hours solid sleep a night.
Until 3 nights ago. I had just put Samantha down, and Pastor Gampon dropped by to visit. Samantha woke up, and I went to comfort her as usual. About 20 minutes later, just as Pastor Gampon began to talk about some very important stuff, she started crying again. He said, “Just leave her, she’ll be okay.” So, we continued our conversation, and after about 40 minutes, Samantha fell asleep. It was really hard to sit there, but both Sean and I needed to be part of the discussion.
Now, I have talked to many parents, and read many articles and opinions about how to get your kids to sleep through the night. Most of our friends would say, “Just let her cry it out”. But usually Samantha would make us pay big time if we did that – extra clingy, screaming blue murder just walking into her room, etc. Then there’s the ‘no cry’ methods, where over a period of time you teach your child to sooth themselves to sleep, without tears. That didn’t work either. The only way to make Samantha go to sleep without crying is to rock her into a deep sleep, then put her down and walk away. Then, when she wakes up in the night, enter room armed with bottle (I stopped night nursing a while ago), and rock/feed her back to sleep.
One thing I have noticed in all my reading & research is that people are usually an advocate for one method and hate/scoff at the opposing method. Even the experts write their opinions with great emotion and guilt-tripping, in order to sway parents to do things the ‘right way’. I have found there is no right way. There’s only the way that works for this child at this time!
Back to Samantha. She woke up at about 2 am that first night. At first I thought, I should just leave her. But then some stuff I’d read on a certain Doctors website started nagging at my brain, so I went in, laid her back down, stroked her hair and said, “Shhhh, it’s okay. Go to sleep, Samantha”. And turned around and walked out. BIG MISTAKE! Her whiny whimpers turned into full blown screams. I knew that was it. I had to go back to the old way. Time to make a bottle and try to get her to calm down. Thankfully she slept till 7am.
The second night was a true miracle. We went through our bed time ritual, and then I put her down in her crib. She started to cry. I simply said, “Samantha, go to sleep”. And sat down in the rocking chair. Samantha put on a good display – crying, reaching out for me, bouncing up and down. But I just sat there and said, “Go to sleep.” After about 10 minutes she laid down, still crying and whining, kicking her legs, rubbing her eyes. Then she was asleep. WOW! That never happened before. She woke up around 10pm, 2am and 4am, each time crying for less than 5 minutes. Each time, I didn’t go in, I just made a note of the time.
Night number 3, she only woke at 4am. And now, she doesn’t like to be rocked to sleep, she just wants us to put her down. She still cries and protests, but as long as we’re in the room when she initially falls asleep, she’s okay. Samantha’s happier during the day, too.
Sean and I have asked each other if we should have done this earlier. We have friends who would say, “Yes! You guys were idiots to let it go on so long.” But the truth is, we have tried so many things to get Samantha to sleep well, and none of it worked. Until now. My theory is that she was just ready. You can try to force your child to learn – using whatever method makes YOU feel the most comfortable – but in the end, it just comes down to your child being ready for it.
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