I haven’t read a book in a long time. Not since I had my Sweet Baby Girl (who is now 4).

I’ve listened to many audio books and lectures, but curling up with a nice novel or even a parenting book is the stuff of dreams.

Recently, pulled a book of the shelf and started reading. It’s called ‘Parenting with Love and Logic‘ by Cline and Fay. I haven’t finished it. No, it’s probably gonna take me a few months to get through.

So far I am enjoying it. I’ve only read two chapters, but it’s a fairly easy read and most of the stuff they say is logical… who’d have thunk? The gist so far is that we need to teach our kids to be responsible for their attitudes and actions. It’s not my job as Mum to rescue the Rugrats at every turn. Sometimes letting them climb and then fall is actually a learning experience that teaches them either – how to climb without falling, or not to climb on that particular object.

One practical tip that stuck out to me as I was reading was this from page 26:

Love and Logic Tip #1 – Unforturnately, When our Gut Talks, Our Head Listens. Most of us parent out of gut reactions… (but) adult ‘gut reactions’ are the result of childhood responses to family emotions and interactions.  
To summarize their point – if I had many positive childhood experiences, then maybe my ‘gut reactions’ are okay. But if I had negative experiences or a dysfunctional family, then they may not be the best responses for my kids.

Well, I had many negative experiences. So many, that I can’t remember most of my childhood (setting of alarm bells for my Life Coach, I’m sure). What this book has taught me (so far) is that I need to catch myself at the moment of Reaction and STOP. Think through the situation logically (perhaps sending DD or DS to their rooms for a few minutes while I figure it out) and then decide how to Respond and Act in a Logical and Loving way. A way that teaches Why a certain Behavior is wrong or unacceptable, Consequences and also Responsibility.

And it’s not just about discipline. This morning my daughter said, “Stupid Eastern Dogs” and a few other choice phrases she’s picked up. I sat down with her to explain, once again, that these words are not polite and we shouldn’t say them.

Well, she called me on it. “Mummy, why are you allowed to say stupid?”
Blushing and embarrassed, I replied, “Um. You know what Samantha, Mummy isn’t allowed to say it. Mummy was very rude and I’m very sorry that I used that word.”

And I stood there for a few minutes and considered the ‘choice words’ that my children have learned from me.

Yes, Mummy has a potty mouth and it’s time she did something about it!!