Originally Posted: July 18, 2006
As I’ve been lying in bed the past few days, sometimes sleeping, sometimes just not wanting to move because of the pain, I have been reflecting on this journey we are on.
At first, especially when I was lying in recovery in an anesthetic induced stupor, but still able to feel the very real pain, I thought, Is this really worth it?? Why does it take so much pain just to get pregnant and fullfill the dream of having children??
Now that I have recovered, I am glad I did the surgery, but I don’t think I would go through it again. And I hope that our doctor never suggests that it’s necessary.
So, if someone were to ask me, “Are you willing to do anything to have a child?” I realize that I would have to say “NO”. I still hope that this step we’ve taken is the answer, and that I will not need to have any more invasive procedures to get pregnant. Next week we’ll see the Doctor again, and he’ll give us his plan for treatment (just meds, please – that’s invasive enough!!!). While we HOPE and pray that this treatment will work and we’ll get our little miracle, there are no guarantees. There’s just Hope.
Update, July 18, 2008
To answer my own question, Is this really worth it??: It is totally worth it. And now that I have Samantha, I say, “I WOULD do it again”. I’m even willing to have another C-section in order to hold a beautiful, healthy son or daughter in my arms. I despise surgery – I don’t seem to bounce back the way others do. Must be a reaction to the anesthesia.
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