On Saturday, we set out on a simple journey that turned into a comedy of errors, that left me humour impaired and extremely high-maintainence for the next 2 days…

We awoke at 6am, to clear skies and a spectacular view of the mountains looking down on us. Amber and Jake had prepared an amazing breakfast and we were all in good spirits with our tummies full, bags packed and airline tickets in hand.

Our first mistake was departing 10 minutes late. Our second mistake was stopping to buy snacks for a fussy toddler… Oops, we just missed the first ferry to Seattle.

We boarded the second ferry about the time we should have been arriving at the airport. It was a pleasant trip, just kicking back watching the world go by as the boat was gently rocked by the waves. Samantha got to run off some steam, as Mummy chased her around the boat, and Sean was able to burn a ministry CD for Jake. It was nice to have a few last moments of bonding with Jake and Amber in a relaxed environment.

We arrived at the airport with no time to spare. Quick, cordial “So long and thanks for all the fish” goodbye, and we’re off and running through the maze of check-in, security and terminals to our gate. Phew… we made it… just as they call our seating zone. No need to worry about missing pre-board for families, as United kindly discontinued that years ago. So thoughtful of them.

Our normally sweet, charming angel turned into a little monster as soon as they closed the doors. She wouldn’t sit still, refused to sleep or eat, and nothing we tried would calm her or satisfy her. Yes, we were ‘those’ parents with ‘that’ kid. Samantha finally fell asleep in Sean’s arms on our decent into Chicago. And the fun was just about the begin…

United has a few wonderful policies that I love. One is giving you less than 1 hour to make a connection. Another is to put those connecting flights as far from each other as the airport will allow. Yet another is to close the doors of the aircraft 10 minutes before take off, so they can bolster their ‘on-time performance’. Bollocks!

So, with a 45 minute connection time, which is in reality only 35, we have to deplane, and run the 2 miles to our connecting flight. Watch out! Here comes the crazed pregnant lady, with the carry-ons in the stroller, being chased by the frantic husband carrying the sleeping toddler in his arms! We make it to our gate with 2 minutes to spare. They then inform us that we have to go downstairs and outside INTO THE SNOW to board the puddle jumper that’s taking us to Alabama. The doors are locked at 5:50pm for a 6pm departure (remember that ‘on-time’ performance they are so proud of?), and then we sit there like prisoners in the plane for one hour, waiting for them de-ice the plane.

Normally I take this kind of thing in my stride. It’s all part of the adventure and experience. Part of the reason you travel – to be pushed to the limits and be able to laugh it off with your best friend. NOT TODAY! I’m telling you – DO NOT MESS WITH THE PREGNANT LADY!! I was sick of being messed around by this crumby airline and ready to bite someone’s head off… then the stewardess bough me a glass of water and Sean found some chocolate for me.

Things went fairly smoothly until we arrived at the hotel. It was 10pm, the office was locked up tight, and Samantha was in play mode after being cooped up in planes all day. We waited outside, with my ‘Below65-a-phobia’ out of control, until the night attendant arrived to give us keys… to a smoking room. I was tired, I wanted to let it go, but Sean knows me too well. So he went to get a new room while I chased Samantha up and down stairs and corridors. I told you this was a comedy of errors, right??? The keys to our new room, an upgrade, didn’t work, so the attendant had to use the master key to get us in. It took me about 10 minutes to figure out why it was inaccessible. It hadn’t been cleaned properly and had some major maintainance issues. I let it go. It was almost midnight, and we all just needed some sleep. Besides, we had requested late check out and got it far too easily. I figured this was the pay off for being able to stay a few extra hours at no charge.