There are events in everyone’s lives that change and transform them, effecting choices and actions. Five years ago today I lost someone precious. And so I light a candle as a memorial to him.

Ironically, today marks a fresh loss. An encounter that leaves me feeling like I’ve been kicked in the guts. I feel invisible, worthless, unappreciated. This encounter is linked with the first loss in a strange way. Choices made as a result of the first loss led to today’s loss. Because people only perceive what they want to, and don’t take time to find out what’s behind the scenes.

I find myself remembering and grieving. If I’d made different choices, could I have avoided a new loss? Probably not.  So, I will grieve and let go, even though I want to hold on so tight. Even though I want justice and vindication.