Today’s topic will cover automatic toilets and accidents in the swimming pool. If you are a sensitive soul, leave now. Otherwise, read on.

I hate automatic toilets. There’s nothing worse than sitting down to ‘attend to one’s needs’ and being rudely interrupted by an auto flusher. Some are so sensitive, they flush at the slightest movement or sound from the stall occupant. I was in a restroom recently… all the stalls were occupied, the sound of out of control auto flushers filled the room… along with the moans and giggles of embarrassed patrons. I wonder if they were in fact on a timer, rather than a sensor, and the janitor had set it for every 2 seconds as a joke. It’s also problematic when you are potty training your toddler – poor kid is traumatized by phantom flushes, a wet bum, not to mention having the right to flush ones own waste all by oneself rudely snatched away. 

Oh please, just turn the auto flusher off, and let us flush the way the cave men did!

Speaking of potty training, all you Mum’s out there know the joys of the Adventures of Potty Training. I experienced a brand new ‘joy’ on Friday.  It was our last day in Malaysia, so we were staying at a hotel near the airport, carefully selected for it’s swimming pool. We had been in the pool for about an hour – it was very relaxing to just hang out with the kids and each other. I didn’t want to leave. But Timothy ‘told’ me he was ready to take a nap, so I was drying him off….

Suddenly, I hear Sean say, “Stop! Don’t move!” and Samantha starts whining as he carries her over to the grass. It was a poopy explosion. Thankfully, she was not in the pool when it happened. I picked her up and followed the signs saying ‘toilet’. I came to the end of the road, and there was nothing… Samantha started to take off her swim suit… there was poop everywhere, and I couldn’t find the wretched bathroom. Finally, I found the gym, and carried her through it to the bathroom. Thankfully, in Asia they have ‘butt cleaners’ in most bathrooms (a high pressure hose attachment) so I was able to hose Samantha off and clean her swim suit. I also had to clean up a few little messes made along the path outside. Needless to say, when I entered the gym there were about 5 people in there… when we came out, there was no one.

I think this is the grossest Potty Training experience we’ve had so far. It even trumps the time she took her diaper off in a restaurant and walked over to us saying, “I pooped, Mummy!”