The kids were booked into the Spectacular Children’s Program, run by the FL Aquarium. I had sold it to my kids, imagining an Amazing Mobile Unit of Specially Trained Marine Biologists with cool equipment like models of sea creatures, charts and games, water tables.
“Kids, you’re gonna learn all this Cool Stuff about Marine Life and Biology while Mummy and Daddy go to ‘class’ and weigh our Schooling Options.”
Basically, at $75 a Pop, I figured my kids would get the FL Aquarium in Miniature – a Veritable Smorgasbord of Marine Biology Magic for my Mini Biologists.
Reality Hit Hard!
A Cold Concrete Floor. Sparsely Furnished.
Pencils. Paper. Plastic Cups. Pipe Cleaners.
Where is the Crack Team of Marine Biologists? Where is the Mini Aquarium?
Crafts and Noise.
So. Much. Noise.
Acoustics to Make your Ears Bleed (and Little Brains Explode).
This is a recipe for disaster….
Samantha and Timmy joined their group, The Planktons, at the table on the far left of the room. Time to Draw a Shark! We introduced them to the other kids. Everyone smiled shyly.
“Enjoy the ‘Program’, Darlings! Rub Noses! Behave! Bye Bye!”
Quick! Escape before they realize they have been deceived…
Timothy was the first to Cave. He actually ran away, un-noticed for quite some time. Eventually a bored 12 year girl noticed he was missing and went looking for him. She found him hiding, curled up in a ball. She managed to wrangle him, but it was hard to keep him with the group. After lunch, Sean had to stay with Timmy to encourage him to Suck It In. Master 5 could not. So, after an hour, Sean finally took him to a session.
Samantha was a Little Darling. She’s got 2 years of School under her belt, so she can Suck It In when she needs to. And besides, she really wanted to believe that Mummy’s Imaginations were Correct. She’s in a Marine Biology Wonderland, right? She wants to do this when she grows up, right? When Timmy was allowed to leave with Daddy, she continued to Soldier On, even though she really didn’t want to.
Samantha values Connection, just like Me. This Girl makes Friends with Everyone. So, the highlight for her was chatting and connecting with Allie, as Sweet Little Girl who we wish we had time to get to know. I think this is why she was able to Suck It In that first day.
Day Two, we dropped them off again, bracing ourselves for what might happen. The kids lasted 2 hours. At Lunch time they Begged us not to take them back into The Room where they were bored to tears and their senses were Overloaded by Overwhelming Incessant Noise. Again, Timothy was not with his group. He was sitting at a table with one of the Aquarium staff and drawing sea creatures. But I have to admit, the Shark he had drawn was quite impressive.
My kids did not seem learn anything of value. They had some fun playing Duck Duck Goose, and drew cool pictures of Sharks. Lots of Sharks. On the first evening I was very excited because Timmy started spouting off facts about Marine Life. I asked him, “Did you learn that in the Aquarium Program today?” “No Mummy, I learned that from Nemo’s Teacher.” Then I realized he’d been playing Finding Nemo on his Leap Pad.
I was not impressed with this ‘Program’. It was more like Glorified, Overly Expensive Baby Sitting. It would have been more effective to hire a baby sitter and pay for her food and hotel for the weekend. The kids would have had more fun. We would have saved money and we would have accomplished our goals.
Darling Husband noticed that by the End of The Convention, there were Hardly any Children Left in the Program. Most of them were sitting with parents in the sessions or playing in the pool. He commented, “These Aquarium Employees are very Brave to enter a room with a few hundred kids, Armed with only Pipe Cleaners and Plastic Cups. I liked them quite a bit. But I kind of feel sorry for them – they were so unprepared!”
A little birdie did tell me that the Children’s Program usually isn’t so good. However, they were surprised that it was a Dud even when Outsourced. I guess this is why so many advise you to Leave Your Kids at Home or have a Grandparent/Friend join you to help out.
….Lessons Learned by a New-bee Would-be Homeschool Mum.
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And below is my Darling Husband’s review from his First Hand Experience Inside The Room.
During the time that Sean stayed with the kids, he was able to see what had gone wrong.
1. All the kids were Overwhelmed. Some were simply Terrified (5 & 6 year olds). Others were down right Bored (11 & 12 year olds). Sean actually drew the Planktons together, sat them down and tried to help them. They were all shy and scared. Some bored. So, Sean conducted an Impromptu Group Therapy Session to help the Kids draw together and realize they needed to Unite and Slay the Beast as One.
2. The kids were moved from station to station, and therefore teacher to teacher. The teachers did not know the needs of the kids. They didn’t even seem to know the faces (which is how Timmy managed to disappear unnoticed for an unknown length of time. And the adults were not the ones to notice he was gone).
3. There were too many kids for the number of Staff. And they were activity based, not child based. They were expecting Producing Learners (or Learners who had been trained to Produce), who know how to hide their boredom and terror.
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