11 years ago I met a sweet 3 year old girl. She was precocious, outgoing, inquisitive and very opinionated. And her favourite question was “Why?” I liked her a lot.
One of the first questions she asked me was, “How many babies do you have?
Me: “None”
Miss 3: “Oh, is Sean your brother?”
Me: “No. He’s my husband.”
Miss 3: “Why don’t you have any babies?”
Me: “Not everyone who gets married has babies.”
Miss 3: “Why?”
Me: “Well, there’s a lot of reasons. But sometimes God doesn’t let you have babies right away. Sometimes you have to wait.”
Miss 3 looked very puzzled and left it at that.
Until the next time we met.
Miss 3: “I think Sean must be your brother.”
Me: “No, we’re married. He’s my husband.”
Miss 3: “But Mummies and Daddies have babies! Otherwise they are not Mummies and Daddies.”
Me: “Miss 3, sometimes Husbands and Wives never have any babies – some don’t want them, other want them but can’t have them because they are sick.”
This just exasperated her even more.
Miss 3: “Why? Why? Why? Why?”
My interactions with Miss 3 continued in this theme for about 3 years. As she grew, she began to grasp the reality that Sean was my husband, but the obsession with my childlessness remained… nay, grew.
Miss 6: “When are you gonna have kids?”
Me: (feeling rather annoyed and exasperated with this line of interrogation) “When God gives them to us.”
Miss 6: (puzzled) “Do you guys love each other? When mummies and daddies love each other, they have kids.”
Me: (turns and walks away) whispered, “Oh, shut up!”
What was once kind of cute and endearing quickly became painful and annoying. I was ‘trusting God for His timing and will’ in regards to having children, but as I came to the realization that this might never happen, dealing with Miss 6’s simplicity and innocence was agonizing.
Miss 6 came from a very large family. By the time she was 6, I think she had 5 siblings. Her parents had no plans to stop. They just really love kids. They also take God’s command to Noah and his family in Genesis 9 to ‘be fruitful and multiply’ very seriously and personally. I wondered if perhaps they talked about it around the dinner table at night. Love + Marriage = Babies. If there’s no baby in the equation, there’s something very wrong. You’re disobeying God.
Perhaps this is why Miss 6 is so distressed and obsessed with my childlessness.
Life took us in different directions, and we didn’t see much of Miss 6 and her family anymore. It was kind of nice to not have my ‘failure’ constantly thrown in my face. Of course, Miss 6 is now Miss 14. She is an awesome young lady – still precocious, outgoing, inquisitive, and opinionated. But she’s not so obsessed with the Rules about Love and Marriage and Babies. At least, I don’t think she is.
Stay tuned for Part 2 tomorrow…..
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