(continued from July 11)
While I hibernated in the hotel room in Phitsanulok, I read an article by Francis Frangipani called “Unoffendable”. Oh, I was offended alright! I was so offended I was ready to abandon the team and my husband, and take my kids home. Darling Husband even gave me an out – I could go home if I wanted. He just wanted me to be happy.
But I knew I had to stay.
So, I read the first page of the article, “Unoffendable”. It’s all I could read. I was blind with tears and found it hard to get the thoughts straight in my head at that point.
When I read the following statement, I stopped in my tracks.

“When we allow an offense to remain in our hearts, it causes serious spiritual consequences. In the above verse (Matt 24:10-12) Jesus named three dangerous results: betrayal, hatred and cold love.”

Two words stood out to me.
Cold Love.
I still loved my students. But I didn’t want to be near them. When they came to try to explain themselves to me, I had a Stone Cold Heart and an even Harder Face. When they were done, I just said, “We’re good.” I lied.
Cold Love. What is Cold Love? The best way I can describe it is this: Cold Love tolerates others. It is easily angered. It is unkind. It is proud and envious. It stops just short of betrayal. It does not trust. It does not endure. It sees the worst. Cold Love fails every time.
I’m not gonna say my heart changed immediately. It took weeks. But as I could clearly see that God had orchestrated this ‘altercation’ for His purpose, and because I didn’t want to be offended at my students, I referred to the situation as ‘disappointing’ rather than ‘offensive’.
Then I began to reflect on the difference between Offense and Disappointment.  To me, Disappointment involves sadness, pain, hurt and grief. Offense is about anger, bitterness, broken relationship, and Cold Love. It’s far easier to find healing in the midst of Disappointment than it is to heal an Offense.
So, again, I had to take each day at a time, see my students through Jesus’ eyes, and Change My Mind about the situation.
It helped to have my Brother In Law around, because he’s an Expert Optimist. One day he said to me (with no knowledge of what I was working through):
“People do dumb, hurtful things, they act without thinking. Anticipate the worst in peoples actions. Assume the best in their intentions.”
I have found that having this mindset is a great way to proactively Chang My Mind about situations that I could potentially find offensive.
(more to come…. don’t close that tab!)