Actually, I don’t think it was downloaded and installed correctly.
My Mother never really ‘domesticated’ me. You see, Mum was a career woman. She was a registered nurse, working weekends at a nursing home. And she encouraged all her girls to be very self sufficient and to take care of themselves. Our house was always a mess. I don’t remember having chores at all. Meals were basic, and on the weekends, my siblings and I cooked our own meals – usually Canned Something on toast or rice.
I was brainwashed at school, through the media, and on the public bus system:
Forget the Domestic Life! Study Hard. Have it all! Be Superwoman. Girls Can (and should) Do Anything. Men are required to do 50% of the work in the home or we’ll label them Jerks.
For a few years, Sean and I did split the house work 50/50. We cooked and cleaned together. It was actually kind of fun. Then we moved to Thailand and hired a maid. So I didn’t have to worry about any of it anymore. Yeehaw! Until we couldn’t afford someone full time, and I am required to pick up the pieces on her off days. Bleck!
Darling Husband always had high hopes for me. He really believed that one day I’d become ‘domestic’. He figured somehow it would all come together when we had kids. It didn’t. I have no natural Housewifey/Mothery Instincts. Everything that I am able to do is learned through trial and error. Mostly Error.
Housework is a never ending task. “A woman’s work is never done”. Actually, it is done, it’s just Never Finished!! You clean up. It’s messy again. You wash the dishes, turn round, it’s dirty again (I think the dirty dishes are actually breeding in my kitchen!). The Rug Rats always need Something! And do you know how much laundry a family of 4 goes through in a day?? It’s monstrous!
So, about once or twice a week, the System gets overloaded with Error Messages, and The Blue Screen of Death Appears. “A Syntax Error has occurred. The System will now Shut Down. Please reinstall Housewife 1.0”.
This is what I like to do.
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| What I am good at: Yummy Food! |
Do you see that beautiful creation? I really love cooking. I feel like I’ve accomplished something magnificent, and DH always has nice complements (watch ‘The Castle’* for an excellent example). This Quiche is based on my sister’s recipe, with a few flourishes that makes it ‘mine’. My Reasonably Good Cook ‘Add On’ works perfectly.
I have to go the dishes now. The Dishwasher (aka My Maid) has been out since Sunday, and the dirty dishes have been amorous again. My Mother In Law has been trying to train me to do the dishes every evening, but my excuse is, “I made dinner, and now I have to go give the kids a bath and put them to bed. Besides, the detergent dries out my hands.”
So, how about you? Is your Housewife ‘Add On’ properly installed?
*’The Castle‘ is one of my favourite Aussie Movies. You should watch it!)
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My dearest Anne, I am so German in my approach. I only do laundry once a week – (the girls sort and put away everything) and put on worship for the dish time each evening. Actually Adelle is starting to like doing them so I might monopolize on that. I have a place for everything so that I can call out orders and have my crew tidying and I make sure that there is some sort of reward for doing clean up. Like; "No snack before bed if this stuff isn't put away!" I still get overwhelmed but the system usually works. I have other tricks… but creating an atmosphere of visual and audible delight is what I aspire to as a designer relegated to house duty most of the time. Getting out for a swim or a 30min jog is imperative to my mental relief of being indoors a lot. I like the big windows open so I can see the sky and nature outside. Seeing friends on fb etc. is also a wonderful relief. I love you Anne, It will be good to talk to you again Sun. night… your Mon morning about 10:30? Lisa
your quiche looks great! I am not sure about the housewife thing some days…I was never trained either.
How about me? Well, you asked. Women are capable of doing anything in the world that they want to do. Surely THIS is what you're teaching both of your children. A gender does not a cook or housekeeper make. My (male) partner does 100% of the cooking, and 50% of the housework. It works beautifully for us. Gender should NEVER be a consideration. My partner does 100% of the cooking because he loves cooking. We do 50% of the housework because we both hate it, but we enjoy having a clean house.
Sage: I do believe that Girls Can Do Anything. I just don't believe in Superwoman – That Mythical Goddss who keeps a perfect home, has an amazing career, she's always loving and kind, and has well behaved kids (who she homeschools), and still manages to be a seductive sex kitten for Darling Husband. Actually, I do believe in her, cause I have tried so hard to be her and am now a neurotic mess!! LOL! So, for now I'll focus on a relatively neat and tidy home (with the help of my maid), keeping my nasty streak in check, and enjoying my gorgeous kids (who go to school 3-4 days a week), all the while working as DH's secretary and ministry partner. I enjoyed the days when Sean and I shared the housework as well as working as a team in our job. We had lots of fun. Now that we have kids, Sean is expected to still do the work of 2 people (because that's what people are used to), and it's unfair of me to expect him to pick up the house work and children's work (although I do, and he does it. We're in the process of renegotiating the expectations).
Lisa, I do need you around me more, because you have an outlook that I love and am trying to learn. You also 'see' the things that need to be done to make things work. I don't see them. The name of the post was originally, Sorry I'm Broken, cause there are times when I just don't feel like I was put together the same way as other women. Something's missing, cause I find it hard to be content in the role of Housewife. There are times I feel like the women around me are either Superwoman, or they are lying about how much they enjoy all that Housewifeyness, and how perfect their world is. I love hanging out with you, because you are real and you are honest about your world. Love you!
Alida, It's good to know I'm not the only one! Some days I feel like I'm broken!
Said with good-natured humour:
"I just don't believe in Superwoman – That Mythical Goddess who keeps a perfect home, has an amazing career, she's always loving and kind, and has well behaved kids (who she homeschools), and still manages to be a seductive sex kitten for Darling Husband."
That's not being a human being, that's being an incredibly dull robot. Of course you don't believe in it, it's a ridiculous, unappealing way for anybody (MALE OR FEMALE) to live their life. (And NOT a product of the left OR the right, by the way. My leftie people are appalled by the idea of a woman being expected to do 100% of the housework, and I'm guessing your rightie people are appalled by the idea of a mother being expected to go to work five days a week.)
Your job is to treat the people around you the way you want to be treated. And then they'll do the same for you. The state of your house, what food everyone eats, that part is utterly irrelevant. (When your kids are your age, are they going to be sitting around going, "My mom was such a kind, loving woman, but IF ONLY we'd had a sparkling clean house! And a seven course meal every night! *sob sob sob*" No. No, they're not.)
You're a HUMAN BEING, you know? Not a broken one, just a human one. Just like everyone else on the planet.